BEFORE YOU SAY 'I DO'

The Longest sentence you can ever form with 2 words - I DO
The journey to marriage is a great one that attracts the attention of many.

Myths about Marriage:
Some say it's fake
Some believe it's unnecessary
Some say hearts have been broken
Some people resolved to celibacy
Some have to visit prophets before they decide on marriage

Guiding Scriptures -
Genesis 2 : 18
Matthew 19:6

Food for love:
All weddings are similar, but no marriage is the same - John Berger

Marriage is a reward of what you put to it, not a gift, so there's no automatic success

It is not marriage that fails, it's the people that fail, all that marriage does is to show people up - Harry Emersin Fosdrick

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the intention of one man

Men marry women saying they will never change, women marry men with the intention that they will change. Invariably they will both be disappointed - Albert Einsten

The difficulty of marriage is that we fall in love with a personality and live with character - Perter Devries

Life is not a 'Dettol' advert. If you don't take care of your husband or wife, somebody else will

What must I do before I say 'I Do'?

There are a lot of Factors to consider and they are broken down in different parts.

Four contacts to the world
What you do - Actions are seeds to every relationship. It is the greatest revealer of the thoughts of the heart
How you look - How you look will go a long way in making your spouse appreciate you. People are appearance driven
What you say - In marriage, your spouse contacts you via what you say. If you don't say it your spouse won't know it
How you say it - Communication is a 2 way thing. It is important for your spouse to understand exactly what you mean and in what context you used such words.

Acceptance analysis: These are pointers to things you have to accept about marriage or your partner
Duration: Till death do us part
Individuality
Personality
Background and upbringing
Taste

Buy counsel: You have to gain knowledge, either through reading books, attending or seminars in the following areas:
On being a wife or husband
On marriage
On handling In-laws
On parenting
On sex

Compromise Factor: There are things that can and must be compromised for marriage to work
Love does not insist on his/her right - 1 Corinthians 13:5

Decision Tray
You must say BYE to the following people:
Mummy and Daddy
Tradition

Decide on the following:
Find on a role model
Income plan: Kind of Job
Meal Pattern
Use of House help
Handling of disagreement
Number of kids

Disclosure:
Before you say 'I Do'. It is important you declare in full issues that could turn your marriage around.
Surprises in marriage could lead 2 Disaster

Expectations Factor
Marriage is not a fairy tale
It's not hell
It is not self made but made with God's grace
It's a process of becoming one

Four Stages of Marriage
Norming: Early stage of marriage, when couple start living together and they are all loving and all petting.
Storming: Is when individual's faults start becoming evident, challenges build and there is friction.
Forming: The stage after Storming whereby couple have to come to accept and appreciate their differences. This is a compromising stage whereby couple stop insisting on each other's rights
Performing: Is when couple are now working together, complementing each other

Six behaviours to avoid in courtship:
Sleeping with your spouse
Being jealous or envious of anyone's marriage
Appearing desperate and lonely
Speaking negatively about the opposite sex and relationships
Attaching your happiness and identity to another person(spouse)
Stop listening 2 negative information

In conclusion
Prayer binds you together in God. Pray together
Have a honest discussion
Share what you believe to be the core values of a loving relationships
Discuss children
Discuss how your relationship evolves.

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